As a recovering Sensitive Striver, a term coined by Melody Wilding, I connect with those of you who are deep thinkers or sensitive souls and who may also be ambitious and show you how to explore your relationship with yourself in a balanced way, integrating and making sense of your life experiences of pain or joy around the past or future, and allowing you to be more deeply connected to yourself and others in the present.
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Both hard working and highly attuned to our own inner experiences (thoughts, values, beliefs, feelings, behaviours or body sensations) and to our environments and those around us, we bring care, enthusiasm, attentiveness, depth and dedication to our work and relationships. On the other hand, we may find ourselves demoralized by the high expectations we place on ourselves for how we think, feel and carry ourselves in the world leading us to experience difficulty being present and emotionally available to ourselves and others.
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With good intentions, sensitive strivers often spend years working towards achievements aligned with common definitions of success rather than achievements aligned with their own values. However, when they actually achieve the common definition of success, they feel unfulfilled or pressured to achieve more.
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Stuck in their beliefs around success, comparing themselves to outside standards and uncertain of how to direct their energy toward what they really need or fearful of the consequences of living honestly in their work or relationships (including with themselves), they assume they're the problem and need to work harder instead of considering that perhaps their brave and beautiful ambitious ways that have brought them so far in life may be affecting their approach to their own relationship with themselves and to relaxing into life in the present moment with honesty, love, peace, joy and fulfillment.
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If you're a hardworking and naturally sensitive or deeply thinking person, there's a way to keep the bravery and beauty of ambition and come into a relationship with your truest needs by relating to yourself in a balanced way in order to live a fulfilling life aligned with your values.
I've been there. I spent years living armoured and out of alignment with my true nature in relationships, hobbies and work. I thought I had to change who I was to find peace and fulfillment and to deeply connect to the vitality and aliveness of my whole self and be with others. It turns out I actually needed to practice showing up differently in my own relationship with my natural Self.​
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It took years of cultivating space within and around me until I was ready and able to make the choice to relax into the present moment with my body and gently, consistently and persistently practice relating to myself from the qualities of my wisest Self: fiercely unconditionally loving presence, spaciousness, kind curiosity, and honesty. When I made the commitment to practice relaxing regularly, that's when I began to notice a shift within me, in my relationships, in my work and in my day to day life. Slowly, I began living more and more in alignment with my true nature from the inside out and recovering more quickly and with wholehearted compassion for myself and others when I found myself out of alignment. I continue to practice relaxing into the present moment with my body in this way both in moments of difficulty and moments of ease and find joy in sharing this practice with others.